Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Decisions

Tomorrow is my appointment with one of the RE (reproductive endocrinology) doctors to discuss what we want to do next. As I thought about it tonight, I started tearing up (I can't stay strong all the time) thinking about all the treatments we've been through and not getting a single positive thing out of them. I really hate to set myself up for more disappointment and throw more money away. It's very heart-wrenching not knowing if I'll ever be a mother. For now, we know that we can't afford another FET (frozen embryo transfer) until at least September. We have enough embryos for one more transfer. After that, if that doesn't work, we'd have to go through the whole egg retrieval process (in which I over-stimulated last time and was in the hospital for) again. As much fun as that was (j/k), though I really don't like needles or pain, I'd gladly do it again if I knew something good would come out of it. (i.e. a baby).

In the meantime, there are still 5 months between now and the next time a transfer would happen. I told myself I'd give my body a break from fertility drugs, but then I got to thinking about how my body would be without the drugs. I have poly-cystic ovary syndrome. I am not regular (anywhere from 40-70+ days in a cycle). I  don't ovulate on my own, or if I even do, who knows when it happens. So then I thought, what if I went back on Clomid (a cheap fertility drug that I can actually afford and not take a loan out for!) just to help with ovulation. However, the docs couldn't tell if I even ovulated with the drug (I'm not sure how they can test that anyway after the fact). So do I even waste the time with a drug that didn't work once before, but try it because it's a cheap alternative to IVF (think $50 vs $4500 (with insurance)) or just completely give up on all drugs and go with the flow? I don't want to give up hope on becoming a mother, it's just that cost is a big issue. Yes, I know it costs money to have kids, but it shouldn't cost the price of a brand-new car just to conceive them. So for all you haters out there, just shut the f*** up if I want to complain about how expensive it is to go through infertility treatments. Unless you've been in my shoes, don't judge. 

So now I've got one more night (and all day tomorrow) to think this through and try to figure out what's best for us at this point, with the advice from doctors tomorrow afternoon. I don't want to give up hope of being a mother yet, but I'm hanging by a thread.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok this is my second go at posting a comment so if you get two similar post its because your sister-in-law is very special sometimes ;) Anyways here goes...I'm not going to even pretend I know what you are feeling or going through. After all we know I have two little girls without going through the hell you are going through. I'm also not going to pretend to be God's best friend (we all know I'm a strong believer in science) however I do have faith and believe in a high power (whether that be the universe or a God - who really knows?) But with holding onto faith and a "higher power" I know one day you will be a mother if you truly want to be (and we all know you want to be a mother with a MAD PASSION). I know every woman wants to "give birth" and experience pregnancy (as every woman should be able to have those experiences) but try and keep in mind there are other ways to become a mother. So even if things don't work out the way you had dreamed or planned this is not your last chance at being a mother -- don't ever give up on that portion of your dream!! Just look at the old saying..."when there is a will there is a way" (like I said not always the way you had planned) Just know we love you, Adam, & your future children...because we know one day you will have children & be wonderful parents because your desire to parent is so strong!!

-Brittni

Anonymous said...

I agree with Brittni - there are lots of ways to become parents than carrying your own child. A friend of mine adopted a beautiful little girl because her husband had undergone cancer treatments and they were told he would not be able to father children. 5 years later they were blessed with another baby girl all on their own. If being a mother is really your goal, you will find a way.

Andrea said...

I know there are other ways to become a parent than carrying my own child. However, it is my preference (as well as my husband's) at this point to carry my own child. We have considered surrogacy and adoption, but at this point, we have not given up hope to give birth to our own child. I refuse to give in yet.

While I value everyone's opinions, I'd appreciate it if people who stop trying to suggest adoption at this point. Adoption might be the way for some, but right now, it is not our choice to do that. I really don't want to blow in someone's face if they suggest adoption, but I'm to my breaking point on that topic.

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