In the meantime, there are still 5 months between now and the next time a transfer would happen. I told myself I'd give my body a break from fertility drugs, but then I got to thinking about how my body would be without the drugs. I have poly-cystic ovary syndrome. I am not regular (anywhere from 40-70+ days in a cycle). I don't ovulate on my own, or if I even do, who knows when it happens. So then I thought, what if I went back on Clomid (a cheap fertility drug that I can actually afford and not take a loan out for!) just to help with ovulation. However, the docs couldn't tell if I even ovulated with the drug (I'm not sure how they can test that anyway after the fact). So do I even waste the time with a drug that didn't work once before, but try it because it's a cheap alternative to IVF (think $50 vs $4500 (with insurance)) or just completely give up on all drugs and go with the flow? I don't want to give up hope on becoming a mother, it's just that cost is a big issue. Yes, I know it costs money to have kids, but it shouldn't cost the price of a brand-new car just to conceive them. So for all you haters out there, just shut the f*** up if I want to complain about how expensive it is to go through infertility treatments. Unless you've been in my shoes, don't judge.
So now I've got one more night (and all day tomorrow) to think this through and try to figure out what's best for us at this point, with the advice from doctors tomorrow afternoon. I don't want to give up hope of being a mother yet, but I'm hanging by a thread.
3 comments:
Ok this is my second go at posting a comment so if you get two similar post its because your sister-in-law is very special sometimes ;) Anyways here goes...I'm not going to even pretend I know what you are feeling or going through. After all we know I have two little girls without going through the hell you are going through. I'm also not going to pretend to be God's best friend (we all know I'm a strong believer in science) however I do have faith and believe in a high power (whether that be the universe or a God - who really knows?) But with holding onto faith and a "higher power" I know one day you will be a mother if you truly want to be (and we all know you want to be a mother with a MAD PASSION). I know every woman wants to "give birth" and experience pregnancy (as every woman should be able to have those experiences) but try and keep in mind there are other ways to become a mother. So even if things don't work out the way you had dreamed or planned this is not your last chance at being a mother -- don't ever give up on that portion of your dream!! Just look at the old saying..."when there is a will there is a way" (like I said not always the way you had planned) Just know we love you, Adam, & your future children...because we know one day you will have children & be wonderful parents because your desire to parent is so strong!!
-Brittni
I agree with Brittni - there are lots of ways to become parents than carrying your own child. A friend of mine adopted a beautiful little girl because her husband had undergone cancer treatments and they were told he would not be able to father children. 5 years later they were blessed with another baby girl all on their own. If being a mother is really your goal, you will find a way.
I know there are other ways to become a parent than carrying my own child. However, it is my preference (as well as my husband's) at this point to carry my own child. We have considered surrogacy and adoption, but at this point, we have not given up hope to give birth to our own child. I refuse to give in yet.
While I value everyone's opinions, I'd appreciate it if people who stop trying to suggest adoption at this point. Adoption might be the way for some, but right now, it is not our choice to do that. I really don't want to blow in someone's face if they suggest adoption, but I'm to my breaking point on that topic.
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